A
week passed by since the Authoress was last seen and, as usual, the Pilots were
attempting another escape. The only
problem was…well…they had to enter The Void <DUN-DUN-DUN! *Thunder crashes*> in order to do
so. Though quite eager to find out what
exactly was out there, not even Duo was willing to just walk in. After all…knowing the Authoress, whatever
was in there might not be as safe as the Realm…
Which brings us to our current predicament. Our five bioshen Pilots were all huddled together secretively, as if there were actually someone else in the room with them. Their heads bent together, their voices in nearly a whisper, they conducted a secret test of skill to decide whom would be the first to venture out into the great unknown and try to find a way out of there:
Duo: Okay, men, this time’s for
real. One…two…three…GO!
G-pilots: ROCK! PAPER!
SIZZORS! …and SHOOT!
Duo: <holds out “paper”>
Heero: <holds out “paper”>
Wufei: <holds out “paper”>
Trowa: <also holds out
“paper”>
Quatre: <…holds out “rock”>
Duo: Ha! You’re it, Q-man!
Others: <grinning in triumph>
Sighing
in defeat, Quatre slowly walked out into the shadowy depths of The Void <DUN-DUN-DUN
*Thunder crashes*>…
Quatre: <looks around>
Where’s that coming from?
(High above the Authoress Realm, the camera temporarily zooms upward towards the rafters, where we see Chibi-Chibi and Chibi-Quatre playing with a giant sound-effects machine. The two briefly smile, wave, and then wink at the camera.)
However, the blonde Gundam Pilot is gone for no longer than about twenty seconds, when a set of high-pitched giggling comes from exactly where he headed off. Immediately, the others look upward towards the rafters, and straight at the two chibi-muses.
Chibi-muses: …don’t look at us!
Soon
after that, Quatre comes back stumbling into the room, his face redder than
Syaoran and Sakura put together (hehe…when put together!)
(Syaoran- I HEARD THAT!)
Whoops…sorry, Li-kun.
Trowa: What happened, Quatre? What did you see?
Quatre: <still beet-red> The
Authoress is back.
Heero: …and?
Quatre: And…she kissed me.
Others: O.O
Just
then, the sound of footsteps is heard from The Void <DUN-DUN-DUN!
*Thunder crashes*> as the Authoress, still in her Christmas outfit,
appears. She was giggling uncontrollably,
and looked like a sugar-high Suppi-chan.
Quatre immediately ran behind Trowa in fear, still blushing slightly.
Me: Hehe…the Purple-Orange
Duckies in the Red Mini-Dresses are after me again! *hic* <passes out on the
floor>
The
pilots all look at one another, utterly speechless. Quatre slowly comes out from hiding. Duo, of course, is the first one to speak up.
Duo: …when did she start doing
fanfic plugs? (1)
~*~
1 Hour Later…
Me: <holding and ice pack to
her head> Hoeee…when did they start putting alcohol in Egg Nog? (2)
G-pilots: <sweatdropping>
Me: <sits up and removes the
ice pack> Moving on…it’s time for the final song parody!
G-pilots: <DOUBLE sweatdrop>
Me: <pulls out a list>
Let’s see…Duo’s was the first one…
Placing
on his yellow toy sunglasses from his chapter, Duo stands there trying to look
cool…but looks like an even bigger geek than Gohan in his Sayaman costume.
(Gohan-
Geek? Whaddya mean, “geek”? I look cool!)
Don’t
make me call Videl…
(Gohan-
uh…sorry.)
That’s
better.
Me: <still reading from
list>…Wufei’s song was second…
Still
fearing the “PMS” threat, Wufei chooses not to say anything on his behalf. Duo quietly snickers in the background.
Me: <continues to read from
the list> …Quatre came after that…
Trowa/Heero/Duo/Wufei: <all glare at what’s
left of the wig-burning bonfire they had set behind him>
Me: <proceeds reading final
name on list> …and last time, we did—
(Somewhere
in background): HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOO!
Me: <sweatdropping>
Uh…yeah.
Heero
glares…’nuff said.
Me: <puts list away> So
it looks like it’s Trowa’s turn!
Trowa: <tries to hide behind
Quatre this time, but fails…for obvious reasons>
Me: <tosses ice pack over
her shoulder, and into the shadows—the sound of glass breaking and a cat
screeching is head—then looks upward towards her muses> Will you knock it
off already?
Chibi-muses: Sorry!
Me: Anyways…in honor of the
holiday season, I chose to do a Christmas song for Trowa. Now, I chose this for two reasons: 1) I
don’t know any Chanukah/Hanukah /Hanukkah songs other then the one by Adam
Sandler—and that was too hilarious on it’s own to even touch—or any Kwanzaa
songs at ALL, and 2) I couldn’t think of any others to do.
Duo: <mutters> since when
does she think?
Me: <pretends not to hear
him> Chibi-Chibi! Chibi-Quatre! Start the music!
**cue
music**
Let
me Entertain You, Let me make you smile…(3)
Me: <hands over her ears>
Ahhh! Turn it off! Turn it off!
Chibi-Quatre: <over the intercom,
snickering> Sorry!
Me: Oh, no you don’t—this time,
put Chibi-Chibi in charge of the music.
Chibi-muses: ‘kay!
**cue RIGHT music**
BOB the Builder, CAN WE FIX
IT? BOB the Builder, YES WE CAN!
<silence>
Me: …you two are in on this
together, aren’t you?
<giggling is heard from the intercom>
Me: -_-() And Kaori thinks
HER muses are annoying?
**cue
RIGHT music—for real this time!**
Who’s
the guy who never speaks? (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
He’d
just be standing there for weeks (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Plays
the flute on rare occasion (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
Barely
winces from an abrasion (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Duo: …abrasion?
Me: Yeah—you know, injury…
G-boys: <looks at her
questioningly>
Me: Oh, come you; let’s see *you* try to come up with something that
rhymes with “occasion”!
Monotonous
as can be (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
A
Heero Yuy-wannabe (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Trowa: Hey!
Heero: <raises an eyebrow>
Me: <giggling> You know
it’s true!
Duo: <snickering>
Walked
one day right into town (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
Joined
the circus as a clown (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Little
Brother of Authoress (a.k.a.: *Mallet Boy*): <runs into the room, clutching mallet>
Clown? Where? <suddenly gets whacked
unconscious by an even BIGGER anime mallet, which squeaks on contact>
Me: <chucks away the
mallet> Whadda know? It really
*does* go “squeak”!
There,
he met his long-lost sister (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Never
knew he even missed her (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Duo: Oh, please; Quatre’s got
that beat down—he’s got, what, twenty sisters?
Quatre: Thirty
Others: <think about that for a
moment, then simultaneous shudder>
Way
over-protective of him (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
Swears
that she really does love him (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Heero: Oh, sure…she loves him
enough to chuck sharp objects
Trowa: You know, you’re not
exactly one to talk.
Me: Speaking of…
You’d
better run for your dear lives (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
“Big
Sis” ’s got her throwing knives (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Her
attitude would come straight at ‘ya (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
Duo: But no where NEAR as
quickly as the knives
Don’t
believe me? Just ask Quatre…(Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Quatre: <shudders in
rememberence>
Duo: <weighing the sides with
both hands> Her soup…her knives…her soup…her knives…. Yup, you still got it
easy, Q-man, *beleive* me….
In
the G-world of fanfiction (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
He’s
got a MAJOR poke-addiction (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Me: <twitching>
Thinks
he’s gotta catch ’em all (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
Drives
the others up the wall (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Me: <still twitching>
Or
how about some Shakespeare play quotes? (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Perhaps
some “Hamlet” anecdotes? (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
It’s
downright creepy how he changes (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
His
fic persona vastly ranges (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Duo: Okay, I know I’ve said this
many times before…but there’s DEFINITELY something *not* *right* about that
guy…
Trowa: <raises an eyebrow>
uh…you DO realize I’m right here, don’t you?
Has
his strangely HAND-shaped hair (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Uses
gel from God-knows-where (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Me: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC HAIR
GEL! Used by anime bishies everywhere.
Trowa: I don’t suppose it would be
any use to argue that I *don’t* use gel?
Me: Puh-leeze; no way that
could be natural!
I’d
like to know how he can see… (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
With
bangs that defy gravity. (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Was
once known as Nanashi (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
That
was when he met Midii (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Duo: >~< ANOTHER ONE?!?!?
GAAAHHHH!
Wufei: You *do* realize that
doesn’t even rhyme, onna?
Me: So? Trowa’s not gonna argue with that, are ya,
Tro-chan?
Trowa: <stays silent, hint of
blush on his cheeks>
Me: <grinning> didn’t
think so.
Don’t
they make such a cute couple? (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
That
is, when not neck-deep in trouble (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
Wufei: Wrap it up, onna! This song’s already nearly three times the
length of the original.
Me: Sheesh…pu-shy! Okay, boys,
time for the finale!
So,
as this song parody ends (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
I
shall try to make amends (Fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la)
G-boys: Fat Chance.
When
this’ fic year comes to passes (Fa-la-la—la-la-la—la-la-la)
Duo: You can kiss our Gundam
Asses
Me: DUO!
Duo: hehe…
(Fa-la-la-la-la—la-laaaaaa-laaaaaa-laaaaaaaaa!)
**end
song**
Me: Okay, boys, we’re done…you
can go home no—
(From
somewhere in the background): HEEEEEEEEEROOOOOO!
Me: <sweatdropping> Why
do I have the feeling I interrupted something…er…important, Heero?
Heero: <folds his arms, looking
away> No comment.
Wufei: Hmph…Yuy’s beaten down by a
women. Injustice!
Me: <grinning> Two words for you, Wuffie: Chang.
Meiran.
Duo: <starting to twitch
again>
Me: Uh…<sweatdrops again>
~*~
Epilogue:
In the end, it took around two more hours before the boys managed to get home. Heero, it turns out, had been working on a fanfiction of his own and threatened to blackmail the authoress with it…but was counter-attacked by the fact that he did not have his own Fanfiction.net account and, therefore, couldn’t post it. Duo was taken to the Anime Asylum after going into what the doctors diagnosed as Fan-girl shock, which grew worse only after he saw actual pictures of Midii Une and Chang Meiran. Trowa returned to the circus, and spent the next week and a half hiding from Catherine, who heard about the “soup” jokes and had re-sharpened her knives. Quatre returned to his mansion, where he proceeded to look up all thirty of his sisters’ names, addresses, telephone numbers, and made sure to block them all. Wufei returned home to his wife, and was forced to sleep on the couch for a week (hehe). Finally, the two chibi-muses were sent away to muse camp in order to learn how to operate the sound equipment properly. However, what the Authoress didn’t know was that they ALSO learned even more muse tricks, including a whole lot more ways of driving her even crazier than she already is…but that’s another story….
THE END (for now)
____________________________________________________________________
1-
In
case you were wondering, this is a brief plug-in for a hilarious DBZ fanfic my
brother shoved into my mailbox one day, and I luved!
2-
Yeah,
I should probably explain this, shouldn’t I?
First of all, I do *not* drink, nor do I encourage under aged alcoholic
consumption. See, I just recently
discovered this little fact that Egg Nog commonly has alcohol in it after
reading the “Non-alcoholic” label on a carton I was drinking at home. I always wondered where the expression “too
much egg nog” came from when describing people doing weird things, cuz I never
realized before now. Yes, I’m that
blond. My friends and I had a GOOD
laugh over that one.
3-
*shudders*
Our school is performing “Gypsy” this year, and I’m in the play. We had to sing both versions of this song
during tryouts, and as much as I like it, after about fifty million times, it
gets annoying as hell…
____________________________________________________________________